I'm Their
Leader - Which Way Did They Go?
Sarah (Buxton) O’Hagan
Sam Perkins – or “Perky Sam” as
she came to be known in the later years of her life was named Head
Prefect at Rangi Ruru in November 1998. The entire school was packed
in to the main assembly hall for the last school meeting of the
year. The anticipation was high as to who the new head prefect would
be. When Sam’s name was announced, the entire school erupted
into an enormous cheer – this was a dream come true!
It’s impossible to describe Sam on paper because
she was so much more than a person. I have often thought in the
months since her passing that she was perhaps an angel walking amongst
us. From a very early age she had an incredible knack to connect
with all of her school mates – and later in life her colleagues
and friends. In most high school societies there are the cool people…and
the not so cool people – and each person has a very clear
awareness of where they fit! Sam somehow managed to be considered
equally a part of every peer group that existed.
By the time Sam came to her first day on the job
as head prefect, I was lucky enough to have developed a close friendship
with her. This largely consisted of Sam being late to choir practices,
parties, appointments and classes and me incurring the stress and
worry on her behalf! So when she arrived to pick me up on the first
day of our 7th form year wearing a large cap with two divergent
brims that read “I’m their leader – which way
did they go?” – I knew I was in for a long year!! But
her never ending generosity of spirit and wit made it simply impossible
to get cross with her lateness! Inevitably the moment she did arrive
anywhere she just made every person in her midst smile and feel
good – an instinct that came so naturally to her.
Some of our favorite memories were from the music
room with Miss Drummond.
I can picture so clearly picture her sitting in double music, writing
long and detailed notes to me about boys, and that perky little
smile running across her face when Miss Drummond yelled out,
“Sarah and CO will you stop TALKING!”
Every bloody time…it was the Co doing the talking
and the Sarah getting the hit for it. That’s my story and
I’m sticking to it!
Poor Miss Drummond was tireless in her patience for
our antics. During Thursday night chorale practices it was a common
ritual to take our strict 3 minute break (!) and see if we could
run to the car, drive to the dairy and fill our faces with cream
eggs within the allotted 3 minutes. Every week we would arrive back
late and get reprimanded for it – and every week Sam would
justify to us that we were simply “sneaking through holes
in our wide sky shelter to seek the heavenly things” and that
made it OK!
Sam left Rangi at the end of 1989 and went on to
earn a Bachelor of Science degree at Massey University before being
accepted into the School of Medicine at Auckland University at the
age of 20. It was during the last year of her medical studies that
she was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease. For many, this diagnosis
would be a sad reason to miss out on many of the life experiences
that a young New Zealander might have. For Sam, it just gave her
more inspiration to get the most out of every day in her life.
During her illness Sam traveled to such places as
Mexico, India and Nepal, and took up medical positions in both Auckland
and London.
Sam returned to New Zealand in late 2001 and upon
hearing the news that her illness was proving too tough for Western
Medicine, she began a wonderful spiritual journey that culminated
in her exploration of mind body medicine at the Gawler Institute
in Melbourne.
She learned much about her own ability to extend
her life and at the same time taught all those around her so much
about life. Even though Sam was in New Zealand while many of her
close friends were overseas, she used her wonderful letter writing
and “telephone marathon” skills to keep us updated with
often hilarious accounts of her daily experiences.
I have to share a couple of excerpts from her –
just because they are so SAM!!
Thursday, Feb 21, 2002
TO: Sezkiwi
FROM: Perkysam
I will be entering my marrow in the cust county fare, it is
just unstoppable. Yesterday managed the magic 0.5 neutrophils which
means out of isolation. Today they are 1.1 and I am going home.
I can’t believe it. Shortly I will walk outside into the gardens,
look up at whoever is in charge and thank them for the Chch easterly
on my face and for my big chance. I will promise to live well and
to make them proud.
Here I go, koru is around my neck for my new beginning, you are
with me sissy. Thank you for your magic injection of kick arse success,
only you are able and I have felt you here all the way.
Your silver girl.
May 15th 2003
I ended up in hospital for the whole week which
was a great sort out and back on track session. The breathing was
getting ridiculous, showering really difficult, walking a few steps
at a time and sleeping aeroplane style sitting up. I worked hard
at trying to adopt a meandering, nonchalant gait so as to avoid
old lady gasping style image but just can’t pull it off. I’m
a fast uptight little walker and that’s just it. Slow walkers
annoy me.
I had another scan, which basically showed that
since the last one 3 weeks ago, the bottoms of my lungs had collapsed
and I’d collected lots of fuid in the plennial space –
no wonder I couldn’t breathe! So they stuck a needle between
my ribs at the back, attached it to a tube and a big plastic bladder
and out poured over two litres of straw colored fluid – Sissy
it was a Cook’s Chasseur moment!
I was transformed to Andy’s jetty, there we were – you
in the pink bathers, plastic glasses out and a bladder of straw
coloured fluid sitting there on the deck. I remember it feeling
good going in – we became wittier, more and more attractive
and slimmer in our 80s togs as the Cooks Chasseur seeped into our
skin, but I can tell you, it feels pretty good coming out too, my
shoulders dropped for the first time in weeks.
I can not believe my good fortune to have spent so
much of my life so close to Sam. From our days in Rangi’s
Wide Sky Shelter to the times screaming along the I-10 to Palm Springs,
music blasting, singing at the top of our voices and laughing all
the way.
I have complete confidence that the journey with
Sam has really only just begun. I know that she will find her own
little way of turning up to all our great reunions and making us
laugh some more. I know I have done so much more in my life as a
result of the inspiration she has given me. Her journey has been
breath taking to watch and inspiring to participate in.
She wrote me an email after my wedding that seems
to resonate with the place her friends and family have been since
she left us:
“The feeling of being surrounded by love,
support and help with practical difficulties you describe is a very
real one. Treasure it but believe it. Always there and rock solid,
to be used. The world is a small place, geography is a minor inconvenience
at times, and the things that really matter are always first and
foremost.
This willing commitment between friends doesn’t
ever go away, and does not require the glamour of a beautiful occasion
to be expressed and acted on.
These words all mean action. We would do anything for each other
– that is the way it is. I have had a long spell on the receiving
end and can never quite believe the sheer goodness of friends.”
We will never quite believe the sheer goodness of
her.
Arohanui Sam.
Sarah (Buxton) O’Hagan
(For those interested in donating to the Gawler Foundation,
please go to www.gawler.asn.au )
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